They say that opposites attract. Positive is unconditionally drawn to negative. Heat flows towards cooler conditions. I, myself, am tempted to live and study in a foreign country that is completely opposite of everything I once knew.
On July 1st of 2018, I finally touched down in the place I had been longing to see for months. I had landed in Sorrento, Italy with an array of students from the University of Florida. I was warned that Italian culture was quite different from the American culture I had surrounded myself with but I didn’t realize how much of an understatement that truly was.
Language barriers were the least of my concerns. While people are quick to assume that the difference in language would be the most difficult adjustment, it was merely a familiar challenge I had encountered before.
Growing up in a Vietnamese-American household, I spoke both languages and if I didn’t know a word or phrase, I simply would use body language, written dialogue, or rephrasing to convey my thoughts. Communicating with Italians is no different.
For example, at my internship in Sorrento, I worked with adults who have disabilities and secondary conditions that result from their impairments. There was one adult who tapped my shoulder one day and said the word “drink” in Italian. I knew basic Italian so I was aware that he wanted a drink. With a confused expression on my face, he repeated the word “sugar” in Italian rapidly. Once I realized what he was attempting to communicate, my heart was racing and my hands were shaking. He was telling me that he was diabetic and his blood sugar was low. He screamed the word “help” in Italian and I instinctively knew it was an emergency. While I didn’t know much Italian, he tried to construct a phrase using broken and basic words. Rephrasing makes a huge difference when communicating. Even though it was a language I was unfamiliar with, the barrier was nonexistent.
Over time, it became apparent that not only did I want to learn more Italian, but the individuals in my facility wanted to learn English. We took turns translating objects, sharing phrases, and messing up the simplest of words. In those moments, we never felt a divide between us. We were a team and soon enough, a family.
However there was much to learn about my Italian family. The most difficult being structure. In America, individuals work continuously for eight or twelve hour shifts. We feel anxious when we don’t have a set plan or don’t have any assignments to do. Everything we do comes with instructions and expectations. We do this to ensure high quality work in vast quantities.
In Italy, you don’t know what you are doing at work until you walk through the door that day. Working beyond four hours warrants a break of one hour to four hours, called siesta time, before continuing to work again. During shifts, there is no structure or schedule to your work. You plan as you go and if there is nothing left to do, you appreciate the time you aren’t working and relax. Italians are conscious of mental health and the detrimental effects of stress. They believe it is impossible to work consistently for hours and not have time to breathe or do the activities that truly make you happy.
I’d receive strange looks or laughter whenever I’d ask to help out with anyone’s tasks or try to discover more activities to do. They were surprised when I asked questions about expectations for my assignments. I never realized how much of a workaholic I was. I liked to stay busy and I never felt at peace until I accomplished high productivity for the day.
That’s when it hit me, I used to be so caught up in work that I never made time for myself. Italy was truly a place I was meant to study abroad for the summer. It was a culture completely opposite of the American lifestyle that I didn’t realize I was completely drawn to.
So yes, I do believe opposites attract, especially when the pieces fit so well together.
